Today I did some research. I have got this allowance for disabled people, as you know I do some volunteer jobs as with chronic fatigue mixed with weekly migraines it would be impossible to work full time. But I?m writing columns and doing little things in return, so I guess that means something. If I worked and get an income I would lose my allowance, even if my income were less. My allowance is just an allowance, it?s not that big and it certainly won?t make me rich, but I get by and I manage very well. And in a way I?m doing something in return. See, I can?t afford to lose my allowance because then I would lose my privileges as a disabled. So this mean I can?t risk publishing a book at a normal publisher ? unless I would write a bestseller, but I don?t think the whole humanity would be so interested in my life, well except if your name is Elizabeth W?rtzel of course ? because, a book mostly doesn?t make you rich but you earn a little and that can?t happen because I?d lose that allowance of mine. So I have to go self-publishing, it?d be better. Even my earnings here on blogit are illegal. Seriously.
I?m desperate to write. I have to write, I need it, especially for myself. I need me so. I need to achieve it. I?m not writing for quite a while. I can?t write. Can you please give me a tip on how I can motivate myself?
When I joined this community, I planned to post my drafts of my memoir, my lifestory novel, in a separate blog. But as always I started doubting. I didn?t want to make a fool of myself because I am serious about writing that book, but I am a very slow writes who writes paragraphs at a time and sometimes, like now, I feel no ability to write. And I would like it to be a bit of a surprise for you ;). But, on the other hand, perhaps that would motivate me.
I write in English.
I don?t know what I should do.